Let the Killing Begin

Compound with dust
Whereto is kin
Donít make no fuss
Let the killing begin

I know the dead
I know you too
Know a lot of folk
Before Iím through
Kill a hundred men
Kill a hundred score
Take a rest and then
Kill a couple more

Let the killing begin

I make the dead
I make quite sure
Everybody know
What they be living for
Itís fun for the boys
But itís death to the frogs
I play with grown up toys
Donít need no Lincoln Logs

Let the killing begin

I wonder if the girls are mad
I wonder if they mean to kill
I wonder if Phil Lesch will die
For certainly heís very ill

Let the killing begin

I love the dead
Their clammy skin
I put them out
And then I put it in
You can come with me
Weíll be feeling fine
Cause every friend of the devil
Is a friend of mine

Let the killing begin

Amway Man

Iím a big fat man I got a big fat wife
Had some big fat kids and theyíre ruining my life
I make a big fat paycheck working for the state
But my balls are tied to the mortgage rate

So I was looking for an angle I was looking for a deal
Cause I always kind of thought I had the makings of a wheel
But whoís have ever thought the answer for me
Was visible each night on cable TV

Cause now Iím selling toiletries and now Iím selling soap
This whole new line of merchandise has filled my life with hope
Cause Iím an Amway man

So now my life is back on track
Itís life in the fast lane I canít look back
Might not be all I thought it would be
This chalkboard dustíll be the death of me
Cause Iím a big fat man I got a big fat wife
She had some big fat kids and theyíre ruining my life
I make a big fat payment to the welfare state
And my balls are tied to the mortgage rate

Cause now Iím selling Tupperware and Turtle Wax and paste
My shrinkís afraid to tell me that he thinkís my lifeís a waste
Cause Iím an Amway man

Red Meat

This is not a sushi bar
You wonít find no tofu here
Weíre still smoking cigarettes
Getting high and drinking beer
This is not a sushi bar
This is not a health food store
When you think weíve had enough
Thatís when you should give us more

We donít read no self-help books
We donít watch Phil Donahue
We donít vote for Democrats
No one tells us what to do
We donít want to watch our weight
We donít count cholesterol
Weíre not doing jazzercise
Weíre not playing racquetball

Weíre not practicing safe sex
Buying condoms by the gross
Weíre not scared of getting AIDS
Take my chances with a dose
Weíre not scared of dying young
Weíre not scared of death at all
Cause we canít get no satisfaction
Just like Mick and Jerry Hall

We want read meat
I ainít talking Ďbout no squab
We want red meat
Lion cat and dog

Might As Well Try You

Tried eating: I got full
Tried thinking: found it dull
Tried Christ: got double-crossed
Tried tripping: I got lost
Tried drinking: I got sick
Tried speeding: stopped quick
Tried ethics: it wasnít right
Tried beauty: an ugly sight

Tried talking: wasnít sound
Tried flying: got shot down
Tried yoga: made me tense
Numismatics: made no sense
Tried cooking: I got burned
Tried teaching: Iíll never learn
Tried giving: couldnít take it
Tried love: I couldnít make it

Tried acting: didnít play
Tried gigging: didnít pay
Tried logic: saw no reason
Tried hunting: out of season
Tried embalming: I got stiffed
Tried taking: had no gift
Gambling wasnít in the cards
Relaxing was too hard

Tried hating: I loved it
Tried pushing: I shoved it
Tried nihilism: got nothing out of it
Might try skepticism (but I doubt it)
Tried jumping: came up short
Tried drugs of every sort
Tried drilling: I got bored
Tried less: I wanted more

I never tried Allah
I never tried Zen
Been known to try my luck every now and again
Tried other women
At least one or two
Tried everything else
Might as well try you

Plastic Plant

I live by the plastics plant
Blue clouds when it rains
But I use their products
So I canít complain
My girlfriend works the late shift
Making styrofoam
Sheís up all night foaming
Iím here all alone
Cause sheís a plastic girl from the modern world

Her lips are turning gray
From all that plastic goo
But I love her anyway
(Whatís a boy to do?)
Me I run a health food store
Selling herbal tea
When I see her she donít perk up
Even with the vitamin E
Cause sheís a plastic girl from the modern world

Dancing On Your Grave

Living in a wood shack eating cheese and gruel
Sitting on a hardback grinning like a fool
Drinking whiskey rot gut try and make it last
Ticking of the clock but the future is the past
Lying on a hard bed shaking from the cold
Ainít scared of being dead Iím scared of growing old
No one on the take and nothing left to save
Laughing for my own sake and dancing on your grave

Living in a mud hut living day to day
Try and make it stop but it happens anyway
Sleeping like the dead and waking with the crows
Canít hear what you said but I know just how it goes
Reap just what you sow at least thatís what I heard
I donít care who knows and I donít knowís on third
Giving what I got and getting what I gave
Taking my best shot and dancing on your grave

Living in a wood shack passing blood and stool
Reeking like a smokestack and burning bread for fuel
Drinking mountain dew and eating off the floor
Thought I had a clue but now Iím not so sure
Trying to avoid it but I see you in my dreams
Paging Doctor Freud cause Iím not sure what it means
Nothing left to do and no one left to save
Waiting for my cue and dancing on your grave

Living in a mud hut howling at the moon
Iíd climb out of this rut but itís really much too soon
Tried talking to the wall but it was making other plans
Watch the bouncing ball so you know just where it stands
Lost the will to live but Iím way too young to die
Somethingís got to give cause Iím too old to cry
Giving what I got and getting what I gave
Taking my best shot and dancing on your grave

Have a Nice Day

Stalin got the Russians
Ovens got the Jews
Red man he got nothing
Black man got the blues
Arabs got each other
Dahmer he got fed
Cain he got his brother
And now his doG is dead

Everyoneís got cancer
Cept those whatís got the plague
Jesusí phone donít answer
Godot has been delayed
The nittyís always gritty
Pestilence and germs
First you feed the kitty
Then you feed the worms

Have a nice day

Judas Jonah Jezebel
Cut-throat blackguard sot
Sycophant infidel
Cum shit snot
Dead to honor dead to shame
Incestuous unclean
Se cong coming never came
First one never been

Knaves whores savagery
Weasels butchers ghouls
Viciousness depravity
Bile blood drool
Carnage pogrom genocide
Malignancy disease
God is dead and Nietzsche died
Welcome to your knees

Have a nice day

Rouges swine treachery
Pederasts queers
Brutality lechery
Piss puke tears
Duplicity infanticide
Cloven hoof and horn
Jesus wept and Katy lied
The savior was stillborn

Have a nice day

Stalin got the Russians
Mao got the Chinese
Rich man got deductions
Poor man he got cheese
The French got Jerry Lewis
The Kenedys got Ted
We all get whatís due us
A comfy wooden bed

You ainít got no chance or choice
Not much to do
The riddleís got no answer
The punch line is on you
The pity is itís shitty
No one ever learns
First you feed the kitty
Then you feed the worms

Have a nice day

Maybe Youíre Dead

Have you ever noticed when the song plays you
Does it make you think youíre God or do you think that youíre possessed
Maybe thatís schizo and the pieces only fit in your head
Maybe youíre dead

Switch it on switch it off
Hey that song is in the key that you like
Switch it on switch it off
Kind of makes you think that theyíre watching you tonight

Have you ever wondered about the timing of things
Youíre thinking of a person and the telephone rings
Could it be coincidental and the pieces only fit in your head
Maybe youíre dead

Take a Picture of My Brain

Take a picture of my brain
Eliminate the negative
If it looks like Iím in pain
Introduce a sedative
Take a look inside my brain
Ventilate the ravages
Survey the terrain
Estimate the damages

Put a needle in my brain
Dig out the encephaprobe
Disregard your aim
Eradicate the frontal lobe
Put your fingers in my brain
Redesign the wiring
A defect would explain
The synapses misfiring

Put your tongue inside my brain
Supplicate and then begin
Thereís everything to gain
So go ahead and dig right in
Take a bite out of my brain
The seasoning is whiskey based
Which helps it to attain
That satisfying aftertaste

Put a bandaid on my brain
Administer the iodine
(Careful cause it stains)
And if you notice vital signs
Put a bullet in my brain
Notify the next of kin
Bury the remains
Begin the next experiment

When the Fat Lady Sings

Tell me a story tell me Tumbledown Dick
Tell me Thomas be Hardy tell me Oliverís sick
Tell me something for nothing tell me how many things
Tell me why is it over when the fat lady sings

Tell me a story tell me Turleygood Tom
Tell me where is he going tell me where has he gone
How do you figure and why is there air
Whatís the difference and why should I care

Tell me a story tell me Tumbledown Dick
Tell me where is the menís room cause Iím gonna be sick
Tell me something for nothing tell me how many things
Tell me why is it over when the fat lady sings

Little Town Ashtray Disaster

When the fat man lays among you with his blowtorch
And he frightens all the children with his flame
Then youíll see me coming right down the mountain
Then youíll see the blood run down the drain
It was a little town ashtray disaster
Carelessly left on the bed
And the walls and the halls raised a clamor
And the chimney went and lost its head

When Bob Newhart runs this whole fucking nation
And Larry Hovis is the gangster of love
Then will be the time of the rapture
Then we will all plant the glove
It was a little rock mining disaster
And the shaft fell right down to the core
And the maggots they nibbled the wreckage
And the rats took a few nibbles more

Ti yee
Sit down with me
Letís talk about the horrible sound
Big birds fly in the big bloody sky
And the vultures they pick on the ground

Now when Satan comes a waltzing through your garden
And he singes all the wicker with his flame
Then the little town ashtray disaster
Leaves ashes on the pillow in the rain

Ti yee
Sit down with me
Letís talk about the horrible sound
Big birds fly in the big bloody sky
And the vultures they pick on the ground

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